


Force of Nature

by IsabellaFlare



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Ending novelization, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 04:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12498320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsabellaFlare/pseuds/IsabellaFlare
Summary: My Chloe Price, the more I saved you, the more responsible I felt.The more I decided to hang out with you, the more attached I got.The more I fell in love with you, the more I found what I stood for,and the more you laid your bright sparkling eyes on me, the more priceless you were to me.If your fate is death, then I’ll be delaying that fate forever.Life is strange.I can’t let you go





	Force of Nature

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anyone that has played or watched Life Is Strange](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Anyone+that+has+played+or+watched+Life+Is+Strange).



> Hey there! This is my first LIS fanfic ( ironically my first ever fanfic was about Remember Me, again a game of Dontnod!) This chapter is a little long and is pretty much the novelization of the polarized ending from my Max's POV. I tried to describe all the things Max was going through and why I chose the ending I chose, all through Max's lens;)  
> Suggestion:  
> If you want your reading experience to be truly magical and set all your neurons on fire, I highly recommend listening to the songs and OSTs separated with [ ] when you reach them.  
> And finally I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I really needed to get this fury of emotions off my chest after finishing the game!

Do I sound like Mr. Jefferson now? I want to “capture” that moment of beauty, beauty of raw  
emotions and feelings. I want to capture “right now”.

Episode 5: Polarized

“We have all the time in the world.”

Mr. Jefferson

 

“ I changed fate and destiny so much that… I actually did alter the course of everything! And all I  
really created was just death and destruction!” I almost shout, disbelief weighing me down. This  
can't be, right? This can't be my fault! Natural catastrophes happen everywhere all over the  
planet, don't they? And it's not like people blame a butterfly flapping its wings on the other side  
of the ocean! Hella no!

My heart aches. Please let this tornado and its horrible rumbling be a reminder that I’m going to  
wake up soon, real soon… I’m not!! Fuck!

Chloe approaches me, her palm gently pressing against my arm reassuringly. I wouldn’t know  
what to do if she wasn’t near me.  
“ Fuck all of that, okay?” Chloe says in her typical bold carefree way, fiercely grabbing hold of my arms,  
“ You were given a power, you didn't ask for it and you saved me!”

I stare at the Arcadia Bay horizon again, her words barely registering in my head.

Damn! My heart trembles in its place! I try to listen to her the way a dazed drunk ass tries to  
focus on their surroundings. Still too spaced out. Chloe goes on,  
“Which had to happen, all of this did… except for what happened to Rachel,” Chloe pauses,  
staring back at me, “ but without your powers we wouldn't have found her! Okay so you're not  
the goddamn Time Master, but you're Maxine Caulfield and you're AMAZING!” her voice sways  
with emotions, her fingers rest at my side, her heavenly blue eyes piercing through my soul,  
giving me that scarce alchemy of best friendship and support. 

Oh Chloe!

I can't take this; it's so heavy in my head, even though I'm not rewinding time or any other  
fucking things up related to space and time! The fierce tornado steals my gaze. I can only  
picture the sadness on Chloe’s face and the way she's looking at me right now, but I can't look  
back at her. It's like I’m torn by realities, another tornado already striking my insides. My best  
friend, my hero, is so desperately trying to cheer me up and I'm not even reacting. Man, I’m  
pathetic!  
My eyes dart back to “my precious punk”, Chloe lays her eyes on me with sizzling electricity; the  
beautiful sky blue shades can hold nothing but warm salty tears right now. My eyes are engulfed in  
a pool of hot tears too, the hideousness of this situation forming baseball-sized lumps in my throat.  
“Max,” Chloe whispers my name in a low voice with a warmth that can only belong to her,

“ this is the only way.”

Chloe hands me that photo; the butterfly photo...

“I… I feel like I took this shot a thousand years ago!” I exclaim, anxiously walking around Chloe.

God! My insides collapse, the way blood and clots fall off a girl’s womb on her period. Fuck! This  
emotional roller coaster is fucking with me so hard it wouldn't even surprise me if my period  
started right now! Chloe’s implication of giving me this photo makes me want to heave on the  
floor. Don't say this Chloe, just don't! No way this shit’s happening again! No way! Not after the  
gazillion times I went straight through hell and back to save you!

Chloe comes near me as I pointlessly twist the corners of the photo around my fingers. It's so painfully  
obvious what she wants me to do, to COMMIT! I stare down at my feet, not being able to cope with this  
appalling dreadful shit that seems to have gunned for us out of the blue like this, not being able to cope  
with the gloomy aura of dark depression that Chloe exudes, the way her eyebrows have arched in  
overwhelming grief.

 

“You… You could use that photo to change everything right back to when you took that picture,”  
her voice quivers with new exposed vulnerability and raw emotions. Hot tears rise above her  
gorgeous blue irises the way water would fill a tub, “ all that would take is for me to…” she gags,  
“to…” Chloe breaks down, her voice getting shattered into a sob like a twig getting snapped  
under a shoe, the stinging lump in her throat stifling her as she buries her face in the heels of  
her hands with force, hiding her founded-on-guilt shame or gruesome melancholy, I can't tell  
exactly which.

Yeah, all that would take for her is to willingly be taken back to that shitty bathroom at Blackwell  
where it all started and willingly let her life be taken by that psychotic ass, Nathan Prescott. All  
that it would take for Chloe is to let his pistol be pressed to her stomach, fall down to her death  
magnificently in slow motion as the canvas of her white T-shirt and the squeaky bathroom  
tiles around are painted in spurting red thanks to Nathan's artistic brush, that one bullet. That's  
all that it would take; pretty easy, huh?

“Fuck that! No, no way!” I’m shouting out to Chloe, to the storm, to whatever satanic entity that  
likes to cast so much misery on the two of us. My voice has become more desperate and  
quavery than I thought it would,

“You are my number one priority now! You are all that matters to me!”

How can anyone or anything else ever come before you? Never!!!  
Her palms slide down her face like curtains, revealing that special face again; so badass and  
rebellious, yet so angelic and innocent. Another Chloe Price paradox.  
“I know! you proved that over and over again, even though I don't deserve it!” Chloe’s voice rises  
in pitch as though she's on the edge of an overly emotional swing that's just about to flip  
around, “I’m so selfish! Not like my mom, look what she had to give up and live through… and  
she did!”

I press my hand to my temple hard as Chloe starts walking around frantically, stabbing me right in  
the guts, telling me things I don't want to hear anymore. Jesus!This roller coaster is straightly  
riding through flames of the ultimate dystopian hell, my whole body is on fire. My mind is dying  
of fever.

“ She deserves so much more than to be killed by a storm in a fucking diner!”

My chest is so full of compressed pain that my ribs may get cracks in them; she is right. Joyce  
doesn't deserve it. Chloe moves around restlessly, fitting chunks of her horrible train of thoughts  
into the conversation, “ even my step… father deserves her alive! There's so many more people  
in Arcadia Bay who should live, way more than me!!!”

“Don’t say that! I won't trade you!” I shout on top of my voice to prove it. Tears stain my cheeks  
as a result of forcing fake strenght into my words, one which I perfectly know doesn't exist. It burns my throat, my eyes, my veins, my muscles.  
It feels like being strangled. The storm wants to do that to me itself. I deserve it, though. The rain does  
a good job of hiding my tears like some expected conspiracy ; as if sacrificing Chloe isn’t  
important. Never was and never will be. All of this is soooo sick!

“ You're not trading me!” her tone grows serious shortly before getting washed over by a giant  
wave of emotions again, “maybe… you've just been delaying my real destiny. Look at how many  
times I've almost died or actually died around you! Look at what's happened in Arcadia Bay ever  
since you first saved me!”

I turn back, in denial. Her words do to me what that bullet would do to her in that bathroom, it  
kills me! Guilt is resurfacing like some giant monster out of pure mud, oh God! This is so fucked  
up! As if it could get any more fucked up. I didn't want this to happen; I didn’t ask for any of this  
to happen and I could never know this would happen! I didn’t ask for my time manipulation  
powers; I never asked to get a vision of a storm.

The storm is getting bigger and bigger and the force of nature circles around Arcadia Bay the  
way a killer shark would do to its unlucky prey.  
“ I know I've been selfish, but for once I think I should accept my fate!” Chloe turns around me,  
clutching my arm so I can't ignore her presence anymore,  
“OUR fate!”

“Chloe!”I beg; my words won't come out as words anymore. Just some gigantic never-ending  
pile of sheer desperation tumbling its way out as staggering words, to convince Chloe.  
Of what?  
Staying alive just to cater to your personal whims, Max? Oh, you’re so miserably disappointing!  
Maxine laughs in my head.

“ Max, you finally came back to me this week and…you did nothing but show me your love and  
friendship, you made me smile and laugh like I haven't done in years!”A smile plasters on her  
lips, tears dancing wildly in her eyes.  
I can't bear looking into her eyes anymore.

Deep sorrow, conflict, guilt, confusion, rage and even love are mixed in my head like one watery  
soup. I’m all and none at the same time. All of them are starting to feel like nothing, to mean  
nothing. My fingers, my limbs, my heart and my head are so fucking numb. My heart thumps so  
loudly in my ears.

“ Wherever I end up after this… in whatever reality,” each loud yet quivering syllable of hers gets  
drowned in the soft directionless ripples of her super emotional voice as she gently shakes my  
arms, “all those moments between us were real and they'll always be ours!”

Her loud clear words become a faint distant echo in my head, begging to be heard or  
contemplated at least a bit, but I’m not listening to her anymore. There's an ocean of tears in my  
eyes that doesn't let me see clearly. All I can make is a blurry distorted vision of her sad  
reassuring face and her dyed blue hair and if I switch, it's just the big beast far away, wrecking  
Arcadia Bay like it's just a little ant colony. I try to blink away the tears but as they go down, new  
ones quickly take their place.

“No matter what you choose, I know you'll make the right decision.”

“Chloe!” I cry out feeling utterly choked, “ I can't make this choice!”

I shake my head in disbelief, over and over again. This can’t be real, no it CAN’T! What kind of  
fucked up reality is this? Of all people, ALL OF THEM, why should I be the one to make this  
revolting choice?!WHY?!

Chloe’s hands come down to my arms, holding me steady,

You always make sure I'm not falling.

“no max...you're the only one who can.”

My nightmare is thrown straight to my face again; Dana, Warren, Kate, Victoria, Nathan, Samuel,  
the police officers, David, Joyce, Justin, all Arcadia Bay inhabitants... And those cruel scathing  
words of Maxine, Chloe and other people in that surreal nightmare;

 

Oh, so you want help? Thought you could control everyone and everything, huh?  
Twist time around your fingers?

Pllleeeaaassseee! Stop playing innocent, you're a goddamn hypocrite!

You've left a trail of death and suffering behind you.

What about the crap that was your fault? Wait, wait, let me guess! You fucked up space and  
time for your precious punk Chloe. You think she's worth all that?

No kidding. Chloe trapped you with her drama; guns, drugs, Rachel. She's just using you dude!  
You let her bully you; it's called “Stockholm Syndrome”.

Max do you really think she has any feelings for us? You're just another puppet! Man, you are SO  
stupid; I'm embarrassed to have the same name!

Why did you get rewind powers? You don't even know how to use them. Rachel's dead and  
you're alive… life is so not fair!

I wish you would have never come back to Arcadia Bay; you're the real storm!

I guess I’ll never dance again Max.  
Don't kill us, Max!  
Max I hope you do the right thing, I “hope”.  
So this is how Max gets her revenge on me.  
I know things were bad between us but that doesn't mean I deserve to die!  
Honey, I always thought of you like a daughter. And now you're gonna take me away from my  
family? Why would you do that?  
Why do you want all of us to die?  
Everyday zeros!  
Does she hurt anyone she tries to help? Yes!!!  
I wish we had been friends Max, but please! Don't let me die like this! I’m just a teenager!  
I’m truly sorry about being such a bastard, you would’ve been cool to hang out with, I just don't  
want everybody else to suffer like me.  
Son of a bitch, this is gonna hurt.  
I know I haven't been the best principal to you, but you've been a great everyday hero for us.  
I guess my husband and new baby will have to go without me.  
I survived poverty just so I can end up here to die.  
Killing me is sooo not cool!  
Even if I'm dead, how can you let all these other people get wiped out? They don't deserve that!  
Oh Max, what's exactly the point of saving me if you're gonna let me die?  
Right when I was about to start a new life in California…  
Thanks for that warning Max; you treated me like human, not like trash. I sure hope you do that  
for everybody in town.  
Please Max, don't kill me, so we can finally have our tea session!  
That's okay if I’m gone; I’ve paid my dues. Time to pay yours.  
This is not how I wanted to spend my last night on Earth!  
Don't let the squirrels die!  
Max, can you call my mother in Portland and tell her that I love her?  
Max I want you to know how much confidence you gave me, nobody ever did that for me.  
I was happy just being your friend. Why do you want all of your friends to die?  
Oh Max  
Please!  
What did we ever do to you?  
What did everybody do to you?  
Max, I hope you can live with yourself after this.  
Please!  
Please don't kill us Max!  
Please don't kill us!  
Please  
Please  
Please  
Please!  
The goddamn word echoes through my head relentlessly. Chloe versus the entire Arcadia  
Bay...All their faces flash across my mind, all their pleas, God all those people!!!  
You're the real fucking serial killer, Max Caulfield. Selfish! That's all that you are; all that you can  
ever be!  
I’m not selfish. I’m just trying to do the right thing, to protect Chloe.  
Oh, the only thing that sounds right to you is Chloe manipulating you, having fun with your  
powers. Sure thing, go on…  
Stop! Get the fuck out of my head!  
Why? Because you don’t want to hear the truth? Even if I’m gone, you’re still going to see it, all by youtself;  
blood. No, you're going to "cause" it.  
Oh, look at Max Caulfield the murderer, disguised as a photographer! Click. Click. Click!  
JUST SHUT UP!!!

"Max," Chloe tightens her grip on me, " it's time."

I feel empty, so fucking empty! My knees are so weak and paralyzed, my head is beating as terribly  
as my heart, things are getting blurry, dizziness is pushing me down. I’m about to faint any  
second. For the first time ever I can't tell what's right or wrong anymore. My morality fails me in  
every conceivable way.

I stare into Chloe’s azure blue eyes, swimming with all kinds of warm emotions, the most  
crystalline one being her pure faith in me. God, that look! I wish I didn't exist. I just want to  
collapse and cry my eyes out as hysterically as possible, screaming, kicking everything,  
swearing at the universe. For once, the way Chloe felt about fate and our universe being chaotic  
sinks right into my soul. I don't even have the privilege to grieve with all the adrenaline and  
numbness in my veins and this little time that’s left; if any is left. Life is … so not fair! Fuck  
it!!!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK All OF IT!

“ Chloe...” I’m bitterly crying, “ I’m SO SO sorry, I…” She wraps her strong arms around me before  
I finish , pulling me into her tender protective embrace, “ I don't want to do this!” I sob helplessly,  
Chloe’s loving warmth and radiation nurtures me.

We slowly rock from side to side together in our tight loving lock, feeling our hearts beat against  
each other, like autumn leaves dancing in the air before falling to their demise. Each heartbeat is  
an awful reminder, a terrible countdown for the impending chain of events. I wish her heart kept  
beating forever, reaching out from her chest, saying hello to mine, tickling it and we would start  
a totally new life together... If her heart wasn't going to be... If Nathan didn't...  
Fuck!

I'm crying again. And nothing matters anymore. Nothing consoles me anymore.

“ I know Max,” Chloe pulls away reluctantly, making me shiver in the cold caused by absence of  
her warm chest, “But we have to. We have to save everybody, okay? And you'll make those  
fuckers pay for what they did to Rachel.”  
I watch Chloe in silence despite my rebellious tears, taking in her everything; inhaling her beauty,  
her unique frame, how she’s always been taller than me, her smoky scent, her rebellious  
one-of-a-kind punk style, the rainbow I saw in her sharp lovely blue eyes when I held her  
forearms to convince her, the cute incredulous look on her face when I told her about my  
superpowers, when she accused me of being so high and so imaginative like I was completely  
out of it, her sassy bright eyes when she stood in her room like a deity in a Pantheon, staring at me  
with that playful hidden message in her eyes, and the  
incredibly warm smile on her lips that heated up the entire place when she dared me to kiss her,  
the worried look on her face when I discussed going to movies with Warren, or answering a  
completely normal call from Kate Marsh, when she changed her lock screen to a stupid picture  
of mine; God! She was so cute when she got that obsessed with me, like it was a matter of life  
and death!  
My mind collapses as all the beautiful dreams, adventures and fairy tales I built for myself are  
going to hell in a hand basket. Chloe, my pirate, was supposed to be a part of all of them. All  
gone, all dead. My heart aches really badly now, literally and physically aches. And Chloe, I have  
to let her go, just like that! Like it’s no big deal. If only I could go back and die in her place, if  
there was any guarantee this would fix things right back to what they were, the storm vanishing  
forever, I’d do it for her, completely willingly; Chloe wouldn't have to be pressed between the harsh  
tweezers of fate. This was all coming along, wasn't it?!Just some shit out of nowhere to brutally  
torture me! Fuck that!!!  
Chloe must've noticed the bleakness and desolation on my face. She breaks this awkward  
silence,  
“ being together this week,” her eyes search mine, the tears in them making my eyes well up all  
over again, “ it was the best farewell gift I could have hoped for.”

My throat is so sore and dry. Even going under the weather wouldn't do that to one.  
I feel each piece of my heart get crumpled like the paper destined to be the victim of a clenched  
fist, as if there's a heart anymore. The way Chloe uses her words is killing me, burying me alive,  
making me bleed internally as bad as a real hemorrhage. It's like the spinning container of a  
revolver, alternating between “save” and “sacrifice”; life is playing Russian roulette with me.

“ You're my hero max,” Chloe says under her breath, my insides melting like dark chocolate held  
above red furious flames. Her hero? The hero that sends her to her grave, for sure!

Chloe is the only person and being I want to see right now, to hold my eyes on, to devour like a  
cheeseburger, to hold in my arms till doomsday. I take a step forward as lightning flashes  
sharply on our faces, rumbling close by. If I’m going to lose her anyway and if it’s really the end  
of the world, why not have her all to myself? She is going to die, oh my GOD she is SO going to  
die! Chloe will die and I'll die inside a little each passing day; until nothing is left. This is the only  
thing that can soothe me right now; my only pain killer within reach; hers too. The way they  
drank and got wasted before a duel back in that era of guns and smoke and partial chaos.  
Lovers on their last night, put into grave together, dark roses and kisses full of blood.  
Let this be  
your last gift to her. Let her get a quantum of happiness before you slaughter her in cold blood.  
Doesn't she at least deserve that Max Caulfield? We could be munching on cookies, desert and  
sweet tasting things, watching Blade Runner without her being crucified on a wheelchair . But  
how can a kiss taste like caramel if it's just an elevator, ready to escalate to a horrible bittersweet tragedy? I  
don't get to do much. I was only supposed to be the observer all along and that sucks. I could  
have done something that prevented this. Anythin! I could have at least tried something. But  
time wasn't generous enough to wait for me. Let her know what you truly felt all this time. As  
much as I hate using it; some kind of closure, farewell forever. I couldn't care any less how she  
sees me or how she would see me right now. When she's gone, I'm dead already, and what's even worse  
than killing Chloe Price is killing all the sweet white marble palace fantasies that emanate from her  
presence like budding cherry blossoms. All the potential that could have been but was never  
realized...  
You taught me a lot Chloe, and you taught me this specifically, that sentence on the ceiling of your bedroom walls...

I'd rather live a life of what ifs than oh wells.

Before I know it, my feet take me closer to her. She is a walking living magnet, with an amber quality filling  
the air. No wonder Rachel Amber hung around her . To my surprise, Chloe doesn't move or  
retreat. My hands climb up with feathery touches to cradle her lovely face and I gently aim for  
her rosy lips. The last thing my brain takes note of is her bewildered expression; how shocked  
she is and how her eyebrows rise in genuine surprise the closer I get; a billion mega times more  
surprised than when I actually kissed her for a fleeting second after she dared me to do so.  
Didn't think I would, huh? I'm so sorry it has to be this way, at a time like this. I'm so sorry I couldn't change  
anything. I really wish things were different in a good way. I wish you never showed up in my life Chloe Price! Damn you!

My eyes flutter shut. It doesn't take me long before I have her lips pressed between mine, gently  
moving against hers. I expect her to push me away, to throw me off this cliff and lighthouse for  
being such a nasty person, for deciding to make out with her while a fucking deadly tornado is  
ripping through Arcadia.

She doesn't. My knees give way, my heart is racing like a wild animal hunting its prey, adrenaline  
courses through my system. Her warmth spreads through my entire body, my insides, my  
everywhere, and even though it's not a proper moral occasion I feel the warm tingles rushing  
down to my underwear . Her hands rest on me with a special deep affection, holding me with a  
strength that is so Chloe-like; it reminds me of slow dance. I can feel the same warmth and  
electricity running through Chlo, her body shivers a little under mine. Through all the shock and numbness  
her chapped lips run against mine with silent but all-consuming fiery passion, letting out some of the tension inside  
her as she presses my lips harder than I did to her, her grip tightening  
on my side and shoulder. I claim her lips, swimming closer to her core; Chloe tilts her head  
to give me deeper access, warmly reciprocating. She tastes like salt crystals  
and I must taste the same to her, coz obviously we have both been crying so badly. Our soft  
moans get buried into each other, muffled by the howling wind around. We stand here together,  
kissing each other, the tornado sweeping across the town in the background. If only this could  
last forever... I feel so so sorry. It feels like Chloe has accepted her death on a dare, a very unjust  
one. This kiss got me so carried away and yet my throat gets burned with a sadness that  
reminds me of the temporariness of this last move, the last chapter, the last page, the last  
frame and picture of our adventure. All of it comes to an end before wind sweeps it away with its cruel hands and duster.

We pull away painfully, inhaling sharply, and I buy myself a few seconds to cup her face, to look  
at her, to savor her; she's the most fragile girl in the world, despite her cocky self-assured  
facade, ‘tats’ and ‘tude’ including the skeleton tattoo, her bold cool passive shell, the way she  
always fronts tough but shows me that sun of love within her.

Unbearable sorrow is inextricably woven into Chloe’s face, and I can't even imagine what kind of  
black hole is taking her in. In spite of our burning kiss, her integrity and full acceptance of her  
dark fate doesn't allow us to get distracted.

“I’ll always love you! Now get out of here, please!” her voice trembles, rising and falling in an  
attempt not to sob, like a small wooden bridge that's about to break in half, she gradually puts  
more and more distance between us, “ do it before I freak! And Max Caulfield?”  
Don't leave me Chloe. Don't say goodbye, please! Not after all of this! Not after all the time travel.  
Detrimental devastation spreads in the air like some lethal gas poison; just imagining how an  
atomic bomb of misery is blowing her to pieces on the inside. It certainly is wrecking me, BEYOND wrecking, eliminatines me,  
shattering me like shards of glass. Chloe reaches out her hand towards me for a moment in  
distance, in a final extremely tearful farewell ,

“ Don't you forget about me.”

Her final quivery words land right on my jittery heart, her tears and held-back sobs are sharp  
daggers that stab me everywhere even though she doesn’t intend to,

“ Never!” I say with conviction as a final round of heavy blazing tears run down my cheeks.  
Her hand slides down in silent defeat as she waits for me to finish the job. 

Chloe Price, my  
Chloe, my pirate in spirit is totally drained of energy, of hope, of everythin...Only her love for me  
still glows inside her. I’m a damned shame to our relationship, to everyone and everything!  
No, I don't want to look at her; coz the more I do, the more my reasoning and presumably right  
morality bleeds away into guilt and heartbreak and desperate longing. The more my gaze  
collides with those teary blue portals of her soul, the more I remember, actually the more I’m  
reminded of. The more desperately my mind tries to reason, to save everyone, the more chaos  
shifts inside me and my mind can only think of her. The more I hold the ethereal connection with  
her celestial blue eyes, the more heavenly northern lights I see around us.

All our memories flicker in my mind like quick vibrant flashes of a movie, all that Chloe’s said to  
me, all my feelings about her I took time to record in my diary in the form of words and  
sentences; if they were even enough to express all of it, all of it comes alive. It's one fucking  
emotional overload for sure.

After five years you're still Max Caulfield.  
I am seriously glad to see you.  
Welcome home, Max.  
You were here today Max, you saved me! I’m still tripping on that!  
Seeing you after all these years seems like …destiny?  
Epic!  
You need a sidekick to guide you!  
How can this be one of the shittiest and yet one of the best weeks of my life?  
Because we're back in action again!  
You freaked me out there, do you feel any better now?  
-I’m so glad you’re my partner in crime.  
-As long as you're my partner in time.  
-Max, do your powers include mind-reading? Or did you just rewind because I tried to steal the  
chair? Shit, I’m confused!  
-It's the power of best friendship. I know how you roll…  
-You're not so chickenshit anymore!  
-Thanks, girlfriend.  
-You make me feel like I know what I’m doing.  
-And you make me feel like I have a reason for still being in Arcadia Bay.  
You look cute with your hair soaked in chemicals!  
Wish we could just hang out all morning like we used to…  
-Damn, you're hardcore Max! Now I’m gonna text Warren and tell him he doesn't stand a chance  
unless he’s into girl-on-girl action!  
-You're such a dork!  
-Oh we could totally cruise everywhere in this bad boy! Can you see us heading down the coast  
to Big Sur or beyond?  
\- We’d be tearing up the high way, and you’d probably want me to kiss you again.  
Chloe, I am awesome… We are awesome!  
I still want to laugh and talk shit to my best friend.  
Chloe, you're back! I’m just…I’m just… I’m so glad you're here!  
You're becoming like this force of nature.  
Come on Max, we're almost there! PLEASE WAKE UP!!!  
You're Maxine Caulfield and you're AMAZING!  
You saved me again! Crazy! Now we're totally bonded for life!  
I’m never leaving you!  
-My powers… might not last Chloe...  
\- That's okay… we will. Forever...  
You developed from nerd to hero within a week. Something' weird is going on with you.  
You’ve been more fearless this week than maybe your entire life…  
It looks like even fate doesn’t want us apart.  
All the timelines I've jumped through for her and how much she's always meant to me…  
Our lives have always been entwined.  
How could this not be some kind of fate or destiny?!  
Chloe and I feel like yin and yang.  
This has to be my destiny to save her… I wouldn't be trapped in here if I didn't believe that!!!  
Dude, do not even fuck with her head! She knows what we went through together this week, and  
you don't! There's no way you can break up our team! No way! This is reality!  
Wake up!!!  
Chloe’s loud words reverberate through my head. It hits me hard.  
Reality  
As if I have a fucking clue what reality is! A black cobra has woken up inside the chamber of my  
heart, stinging its way up to my throat. I can't swallow anything, I can't breathe! This butterfly  
photo was supposed to be a very good omen; the spirit, the symbol of our joyful reunion, the  
first anniversary of me being granted my powers, of me saving Chloe from something horrible.  
What’s the lesson? What's the point of being given these powers? What would be the point of  
going through all of this? That flicker of hope when I first saved her, when I made such a  
dramatic difference, when I really brought someone back from the dark side, when I thought I  
was actually worthy, like I was some kind of superhero saving planet Earth from significant  
danger somewhere out there through galaxies! Was it just an illusion? You get powers to be  
powerless? For reals? Or is it just inside my head? An extremely escapist coping mechanism I  
built in my head after watching Chloe get shot just to put up with the unbearable maddening  
guilt and pain of not being with her, not doing anything for her, not keeping in touch with her for five year? Is all of this just  
an answer to a painful "what if?" in my head that's been decaying me slowly for so long? All the  
little things I could have done to save her but didn't? Or did a Time Lord simply bless me with  
the gift of spending one last week with my childhood best friend before some grim reaper took  
her so I wouldn't be drowning in a sea of guilt and self blame and poignant desperation?  
I saved Chloe having absolutely no fucking idea a horrid tornado would follow because of it.  
Chaos theory. Like I knew shit about science! I can easily walk away because it’s really not my  
fault all those people are going to die now, it was not something I asked for in the first place!  
What's the harm in wanting to save an innocent victim? Your best friend?! What’s point of  
subconsciously willing the event of going back in time that very specific moment?  
But if I go back now, I’ll be Chloe’s murderer, ME NOT Nathan Prescott! Because it will be with  
pure a hundred percent awareness, awareness that she is going to lose her life to a bullet and I  
did nothing to save her, totally NOTHING. Who in hell deserves that?! What kind of friend am I?  
What kind of lover am I?! Who am I? I would’ve assisted her in suicide this way!  
Time is running short and my stomach churns as my dilating pupils take rapid pictures of  
Chloe’s face; she's not desperate anymore like the fucked up mess I am, rather the brave martyr  
who is willing to sacrifice their life on the altar for what they believe in. Her face is sad and  
slightly red from crying but also strong with her solemn pledge. How much she is going to miss  
this, miss life. She always had so much faith in me; me and everything I did, do and will do.  
I can picture the nightmare; it's already coming and I can't even begin to think what it's going to  
be like, but the other end is so heart-breakingly obvious; the Cemetery and everyone dressed in  
black.

Me, Chloe, Nathan, the bathroom.

I’m hiding behind that goddamn bathroom wall, Nathan enters with loud heavy steps, taking  
deep breaths before Chloe comes, encouraging himself to be the bastard he is between his  
ragged breaths and his quickly pounding heart, a moment of delusion and falsehood. A part of  
me feels sorry for him, truly.

“It's cool Nathan, don't stress… you're… you're okay bro… just count to three,” Nathan  
looks at his reflection in the mirror to gain some composure, a look of doubt and  
insecurity, “ Don't be scared. You own this school…If I wanted, I could blow it up. You're  
the boss.”

The door creaks open and Chloe steps in with her typical self-described strides.  
“So what do you want?” Nathan asks her, trying to force some confidence into his voice,  
still looking at his own reflection to regain his poise.

“ I hope you checked the perimeter as my step-ass would say,” Chloe throws open each  
stall door to make sure no one is answering the call of nature, checking every one of  
them, only getting a little closer to the wall I’m taking cover behind,  
“now let's talk bidness!”

“I got nothing for you,” Nathan grits his teeth.  
“Wrong! You got hella cash!” Chloe casually starts threatening Nathan, her annoyance  
pumping through her demanding words. The real nightmare arrives. Nathan goes  
ballistic.  
“ YOU DON’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM OR WHO YOU’RE MESSING AROUND WITH!”  
The rest of the conversation is a painful blur. I see it all coming. Nathan pulls out a gun,  
on Chloe.

“ Where'd you get that?” Chloe’s confidence gradually loses color to fear, “ what are you  
doing? Come on, put that thing down!” her voice rises and yet trembles, gulping down  
her panic.

It's too late. Nathan’s pinned her to the wall with the gun he’s pressed into her stomach,  
trying to prove how much of a monster he is more and more.  
All I can do is nothing; no, all I “have to” do is to sit and do nothing. My tears block my  
vision, the wall in front of me fluctuating from blurry to distinct to blurry again, so much  
buzz in my head, a painful headache and worst of all, the horrible drama is going on  
somewhere behind me. My eyes don't see, but my ears make me see; make me picture  
all of the indescribable torture in meticulous detail. I hold my head in my hands, curling  
into myself, wanting to puke pure bile on the floor. My stomach lurches like a wild fish  
thrown outside water, begging for a single drop.  
“ Don't EVER tell me what to do!” Nathan snarls like a nasty wolf, “ I’M SO SICK OF  
PEOPLE TRYING TO CONTROL ME!”

“ You are going to get in hella more trouble for this than drugs!”

 

[OST: Spanish Sahara- Foals]

 

“ Nobody would ever even miss your punk ass, would they?” He must be pressing the  
gun deeper into Chloe’s stomach, rage and his previous psychological complexes  
tightening his finger on the trigger.

Chloe pleads with the universe one last time, screaming “ Get that gun away from me,  
psycho!”

BANG…

Silence...

I sob inconsolably behind the wall without sound, getting suffocated by the pressure  
each passing second, holding my head with the illusion of creating some vague balance;  
balance is never going to come, at least not for me. My tears stain the dark tiles like little  
ornamental diamonds. Time is frozen not with time powers, but with the power of  
anguish and the occurrence of the unbelievable.

My angel just fell, fell forever, lonely and unloved, abandoned by everyone. Wild roaring  
red seeps through her white punk skeleton T-shirt, on the floor, right down to her dark  
stylish combat boots, all the dark red a violent contrast to everything. Nathan bends  
down, grabs her by the shoulders, fiercely rattling her, over and over; no reactions, her  
dilating pupils let go. Chloe doesn't wake up; never will. She just lies peacefully on the  
floor in a curl, not moving, not breathing … lifeless

Nathan stands back, walking around in panic. His palms land on the sides of his head in  
denial; like it was some part of schizophrenic episode that was nothing but a  
hallucination. David storms in, forcefully holding him down, arresting him. Chloe still  
sprawls on the ground; still immobile, motionless, all cold, a little smile on her lips.  
I’m never going to see her warm mischievous smiles again; I’ll never see that spark in her  
eyes, that rainbow of courage and cockiness. I’ll never have my blue-haired dare devil by  
my side again. I’ll never hold the smoky vandal and large-living robbery goddess in my  
arms again.

Who does this? What kind of world does this?!!!  
And Chloe will never know I came back to Arcadia Bay after five years. She’ll never know  
how much I cared and how much I loved her. She’ll never know what happened to Rachel  
Amber. She’ll never know about my rewind powers and our times together, all that  
uncanny success.

All the photos in this timeline, all our memories will get burned and be replaced. Chloe  
and I hanging out, crashing at Blackwell pool that midnight, otter versus shark style,  
gathering proof, getting all deductive like Sherlock and Watson, shooting bottle targets  
and old cars, sneaking into the dorms like Blackwell ninjas, chilling in the junkyard,  
chowing down Joyce’s special breakfast in the Two Whales diner, crashing at her place  
perfectly aware of David’s paranoiac surveillance systems, me standing up for Chloe,  
taking her photo when she posed like a retro-grunge model, almost shooting Frank,  
taking the heat for her, Chloe and I laughing, hugging, risking our lives, walking and lying  
on the railroad tracks, gifting hope and equilibrium to each other, giving each other  
strength, having the time of our lives despite all the drama going on around us, and  
somehow managing to “be happy”; all of that is going to be replaced with me dressed in  
black and alone, even though Nathan and Jefferson get arrested to pay for all they’ve  
done. Joyce and William will be irreversibly devastated and words can’t even form in my  
head when I meet them; my condolences will be some stupid babbling as I can do  
nothing but trip over words. I’ll hug the cuddly teddy close to my chest, it’s one of the few  
things I have that reminds me of her; the only thing that will offer me a shred of comfort.  
Joyce will hand me a box of memories; memories of William and now Chloe.  
There will be times and times again, I’ll sit down, my photos scattered all around me; but  
I’ll always miss that canonical glow of my favorite model. Nothing can fill her void;  
NOTHING!

I’ll be watching the mild orange sunset by the lighthouse, all on my own; there will be no  
one to sit near me as calm white seagulls beat their wings above a secluded Arcadia.  
Dazzling sunlight lights the waves all the way to the horizon. The snow, the eclipse, the  
storm, the tornado; no one will see it coming anymore like it’s some kind of hilarious  
nightmare inside someone’s head, like it never existed. I’ll be dressed in black, the  
weight of a golden doe necklace being a poignant reminder of how I was guided through  
all those places and struggles only to end up back here, all my efforts vanish and go  
down like this sunset. Forming a circle around her neck will just be a far-fetched fantasy  
like living in another faraway cosmos.

That moment when I almost threw myself over Chloe after finding out she was actually  
alive and not paralyzed, not suffering critical conditions. The many times she made me  
come out of my shell, laugh and be myself, when she dared me to kiss her, the surprise  
and excitement wavering in her voice after I really did it, the way she killed a person in  
reality just to save me, the many times I caught myself staring into her eyes more than I  
should...

Not anymore. People go to Arcadia Bay Cemetery instead; Kate, Warren, Dana, principal  
Wells, Justin, Joyce, David and maybe even Victoria all show up in black, gathering  
around Chloe’s coffin. Joyce will be too weak after her daughter’s death, leaning against  
David for support as he guides her to the large coffin. She weeps in a way that crushes  
the heart of everyone around her. Joyce is so broken that she can help do nothing but  
bury her face in David’s chest, sobbing harder. She can’t believe this actually happened  
too. Kate comforts Joyce with her sweet attitude, the golden cross necklace still hanging  
from her neck and...

And I, I wish I could cry, but tears have abandoned me. I’m alone, alone with my private inconsolable  
unbearable grief; the kind of grief that no one will ever understand. Each string of my  
heart heavily bleeds because it’s predestined that I’m gonna have to pretend nothing  
really ever happened. They’ll never know; they’ll never know about my Chloe, about our  
adventures, about all the spirit in her. I wipe a tear, looking at each engraved letter on  
her new white marble gravestone with utter disbelief and shock; Chloe Elizabeth Price.  
No, this can’t be! It’s too horrible to be true; too cruel to be true; too unfair to be true.  
Everyone wishes her rest in peace and easily walks away, but I’ll be forever haunted by  
her; her words, her voice, her smiles, her ‘Booyah’s when she caught people off guard,  
her joint, her cigarettes, her stage diving, her moshing, the splash of excitement on her  
face every time we pulled a new stunt together, how she tried to beat me with her “epic”  
plans and vain attempts, how her wild eyes sparked in warmth and riot, how she  
stopped dead in her tracks and stopped going after her personal revenge after I told her  
I was hurt even though she would have no reason to believe me, how she shielded me  
from the world in her tingly warm embrace...  
Chloe Price is gone; gone FOREVER. The exact opposite of what we kept promising each  
other. The many times I swore I’d protect her from whatever thing there was out there, I  
failed her, failed her and her family. I dumped her when she needed me the most,  
when her dad died and I did nothing to prevent her own tragic unjust death! Nothing! I  
just killed her! Her emotions and her small remaining glitters of hope about her fucked up life and her entire being! I killed  
her! Her blood is on MY hands not Nathan!  
Oregon is cool, everyone is cool, but I’ll never have her back. Many of those people in  
Arcadia don’t even know who Chloe Price was. They didn’t know and they won’t give a  
damn if they knew; naturally, coz that bluenette was more than just a name to me. My  
Girl Wonder was a mesmerizing vision of loveliness straight from a masterpiece.  
People tell me how strong and grounded I am; but I can’t be like that anymore. Not  
without her...  
I’m sorry my dear  
First crush, first love  
Blood runs thicker than water  
Do you REALLY want her to die like this? After all that we’ve been through?  
It would be a waste to give up now.  
You want to save everyone? What has everyone done for you?  
So you’re telling me you’d be okay if your dad died so that a thousand strangers would be  
saved?  
Who will blame you after their death? One death is a tragedy. Many deaths is just statistics.  
Either way, you’ll be the killer. It’s your choice who gets out of this alive; Chloe or everyone.  
Every time you used a photo to go back in time, you fucked everything up. Who says there’s a  
guarantee you’re not going to screw things this time?  
Can you walk away with this? With being the Juliet who never killed herself after witnessing  
what happened to her beloved Romeo?  
I LOVE HER! I FUCKING LOVE HER!!! This is LOVE CAULFIELD; IT'S FUCKING LOVE.  
And in case you're totally blind,  
it's true love. Now you got the answer to the final question on that last diary entry of yours.

[ OST: Obstacles- Syd Matters]

 

“Not anymore,” my cold fingers become firm all of a sudden, tearing the photo apart, I  
turn around and throw it off the cliff. It twirls around and away till it disappears, ensuring the  
fact that nothing can take me back to that point in time again, nothing can undo that decision I  
made. Chloe is mine and nothing can take her back again. This is really! It's SO FUCKING REAL!  
It didn't just happen in my head. My choices really took place. All my adventures with her have  
been as real as fuck!

I can’t even imagine what Chloe must be thinking about me right now. She is standing behind  
me in silence; either equally shocked or something beyond.

My body is the ultimate epitome of chaotic numbness as I watch what’s happening right before  
me, miles away. Arcadia can’t be seen any more; it’s just the tornado now, like those special  
visual effects out of a Hollywood movie, save for the fact that it’s real. The tears in my eyes rise  
with merciless ferocity like that of the storm. The tornado hurls all the houses around, all the  
trees, all the waves and all the cars the way an agitated baby does to its toys.

“Max... I’ll always be with you,” Chloe’s gentle voice brings me back to my senses, hearing her is  
as pleasant as someone rubbing lotion on my back. I can hear her steps, cutting the distance  
between us from behind. Her warmth reaches out to me through all the rain and cold and winds,  
providing me with an alien comfort. The back of my neck tingles with delight or too much  
trauma. It’s like finding a fireplace after being out in the cold for so long. Her tall presence  
comes to stay at my side.  
“Forever...” I keep watching the price I’ve paid. Not me, the price all those innocent people have  
paid. It’s not coincidence that Chloe Price always comes with a price.  
I’m going to be with her forever, I’ll pay more prices and face more deaths and suffering if I have  
to.  
Oh Max Caulfield. I told you, didn’t I? Sad face! Selfish is all you can ever be. It’s so gratifying  
that you finally admitted that. You’ve never cared about anyone but yourself. Self-interest is the  
only thing that entertains you, BITCH.

FUCK OFF, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I'm not listening to you anymore!

Oh wouldn't you? Then that makes you even more revolting, Hitler! Watch what you’ve done  
carefully. See it in detail! It’s soooo soooo real. Surreal as you would say. Think of all the  
children that aren’t going to get any taller because of you, oh babies too and it’s all your fault  
Max!

Chloe’s slender fingers find their way around my hand, taking it with unconditional love and  
support. Together, we stay up here, by the light house, hand to hand, watching the tornado, rain  
drops slap across our collars with rage. The only thing that’s missing is the popcorn. Chloe is as  
grief-stricken as I am but at least she is not a killer, hopefully her conscience lets her be. I can’t  
watch this any more; If I do, I may as well think about jumping off this cliff to atone for my  
satanic deed. Instead, I turn back to my angel for any quantum of comfort I could possibly  
receive, burying my face in the junction of her shoulder. She tenderly envelopes me with her  
forearm, holding me as I cry into her shoulder and breathe her sweet smoky scent. My eyes are  
shut, I breathe her, holding on to her, making sure her full unique body is still pressed against  
me, letting her existence sink into my nerves, and the into my soul.

She's real. She's here. She's really here. That's all that matters.

I run my hand down her back gingerly and up again, slowly, over and over, as if to prove it to  
myself, to make sure she's still with me, but more than that, to make sure she understands how  
much I love her. To show the affection I can't even twist into words to her. She definitely knows it by now, right? 

After I...

A huge lump forms in my throat, I can't run away from it forever.

Damned right, you can't. What were you even thinking?

As if on cue, she reads my mind, pressing me to herself harder as my silent sobs send violent  
shaky tremors through her chest.

I could never hold her in my arms again like this if I left her in the cruel hands of nature, if it ever  
took its course the way it wanted to.  
Adios Arcadia Bay.

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go! For now. I think that's enough for one chapter. Oh and any form of feedback even one word ( or emoji as much as Chloe would hate it haha) is appreciated. and BTW, English is kinda my second language and I haven't lived in English-speaking countries, so if you spot any errors ( which is rare :) well I'm just gloating lol) or anything that can be improved esp the slang, some things about cultures and stuff, all of it is greatly appreciated!


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